To Change or Not to Change

I woke up at 5 am today. It's Saturday so that's not cool. A lot of change is in the air this week and as I was lying in bed willing myself to go back to sleep a blog post started forming in my head. So, I got up, made a cup of coffee and lit my incense. One computer didn't want to turn on so I grabbed the other one and here I sit.

I have a couple hours until I connect with a lovely, new but familiar friend in Brussels to record another interview for my video interview series, The Inspire-view Series. It is still dark outside and quiet in the house. I LOVE my quiet alone time!

Yesterday was my nine year anniversary at my full-time job. On Tuesday I received my sixty-day notice that my position was being eliminated effective November 6th. I wasn't at work that day so I received a text from my boss to give him a call because he had my letter and wanted to go over it with me.

This was not unexpected. Those of us still there have been living in limbo since May when eleven of our co-workers lost their jobs upon the notification that our campus, along with fourteen others across the country, would be going into teach-out and then closing it's doors. Those students currently enrolled would have the opportunity to graduate if they chose but there would be no new enrollments.

The experience over the last nine years has had it's ups and downs. More downs than ups in the past five years or so. So it was evident that the adventure was drying up. But I don't really like change. So I've stayed and dodged many bullets in the layoff seasons (yes, seasons. There was a pattern). Most likely because my role there is unique. I have my hands in everything, am the go-to person for you name it, am a creative problem solver and get-shit-doner. I've been called "the backbone of the campus" by a past fellow co-worker and dear friend. It just came easy to me.

People are asking me what I'll do next, how am I, is there anything they can do for me? Actually I'm totally fine. I've been in worse places. When I took this job I was in the middle of a divorce, hadn't worked in the corporate world in years because I stayed home with my kids, was on food stamps, and barely had a dime to my name. This job was a blessing. I think the woman who interviewed me and offered me the position was an angel. She has since passed away so she is most definitely an angel now.

I was sad at first, briefly. Because again, even though I knew it was coming, I don't really enjoy change. I was there before the college opened it's doors, I watched it grow, saw amazingly talented people graduate and start their careers, and felt a connection because I myself graduated from one of these same schools.

But everything has a time. There is a cycle to life isn't there? When talking with a friend at work the other day I realized a bit of mine. In my mid-twenties I was project coordinating a real estate consolidation for a major telecommunications company via my job at an office furniture dealership. I was working with the furniture asset portion of it as far as reusing what they currently owned in new locations.

In my mid-thirties I was about 7 years into being a stay-at-home mom with two children and going through a divorce. I found the job I'm currently in.

Now in my mid-forties I'm getting ready for a new adventure. I'm in a much better place than I was 10 years ago. I have gained more experience both in life and in the working world. I have made new friends and have a network of amazing people. My children are amazing. Life is good.

To get where I am now I took some time to get to know myself better and honor my interests. I've delved into energy work, looked at the broader picture of life and my experiece here, and become a life coach so I can help others define their life vision and expand their confidence to live it now. THIS kind of change I love! The type of change that challenges security, not so much.

I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me to death and supports me in my vision and in life. My beautiful children are growing up too fast but are turning into confident, well-rounded young adults. I am so thankful that I have them all in my life. I am grateful for a lot of things actually.

So in this opportunity for change that is swiftly approaching there are things I need to take a hard look at and some self-reflection to sit with. I am at a potential turning point. I want to grow my coaching and energy work business and work for myself. But right now it is definitely not at a point where it would support me and my children.

I have opportunities to interview for other jobs similiar to the one I'm currently doing. Perhaps even branching out into another profession. Of course everyone says I should do that. It's safe, steady income. Hopefully includes health insurance. Because everyone knows that the "Affordable Care Act" is anything but affordable.

For now I'll be talking to the Universe, asking for guidance and signs from my spirit guides and inquiring within for the best direction to take. Maybe a little mix of things.

There is always a certain measure of fear. The "what ifs" pop up, the ego steps in to say, "don't change, stay safe" but the heart often yearns for something different.

I talk with people all the time for my interview series, The Inspire-view Series™, about following your heart, loving what you do and living your passion. And I get it! I really do! But then I find myself saying, "yeah but they have a family with two incomes or their spouse provides health insurance or they aren't a single parent whose ex rarely pays child support."

These are really just excuses stopping me from exploring the unknown and taking a leap of faith. (I hate LEAPS by the way - scary!)

I will be working through a lot of stuff and reaching out for guidance and support. Because that is KEY people! YOU MUST HAVE SUPPORT! Find it with friends, family, even in those nifty closed Facebook groups filled with lovely supportive people ready to share advice, life lessons they've learned, or just to be there and acknowledge you.

Here's to new adventures my fellow travelers! Let's see where our dreams take us shall we?